The Most Important Financial Decision You'll Ever Make...
Don't get this decision wrong!
Hey friends,
Hope everyone is having an amazing week, today I wanted to talk about an important topic.
Choosing the right partner is probably the most important financial decision you will have to make in your adult life, that can have profound flow on effects.
… And what better time to talk about relationships than the week of Valentine’s Day?
Money is one of the most common sources of stress and conflict in relationships. Whether you’re tackling your financial goals together or trying to understand each other's spending habits, open communication about finances is key.
So in the spirit of valentines, here are five conversation starters to discuss that can help you and your partner build a stronger financial foundation together to avoid any heartbreak and financial stress.
But before we get into that, let me share my own personal story about this very topic.
A personal perspective on this topic
So I’ve been in two long term relationships in my life, and with my first partner not once did we actually sit down and intentionally talk about money.
We didn’t share what our own individual financial goals were, we didn’t create a financial plan, We didn’t ever talk about money full stop… and this was a major problem.
Now I’m not going to say that this was the reason as to why that relationship didn’t work out, but it was probably a contributing factor.
Looking back now we fundamentally had very different approaches to money…
I was a saver whilst she was a spender, she thought more short term whilst I thought more long term, and I was frugal whilst she was happy to pay for convenience.
And whilst there’s nothing wrong if you’re more of a spender or you’d prefer to live in the moment and enjoy yourself. The issue was that we never sat down and talked about it all in order to assess and build plans together so that we’re working towards a goal together financially.
This misalignment was probably one of the reasons why we both weren’t happy anymore in the relationship, which ultimately led to it ending.
But I’ve definitely learnt from my mistakes, and with my current partner we talk about all things money all the time. We review our budgets together, we talk about our financial goals and agree on what where our money will be going towards!
💭 Conversation starters to have better money conversations
Consider using these 5 conversation prompts to start a conversation with your partner, you can build a stronger connection with your partner and create a plan that supports both of your financial goals and values.
1. Give Advance Notice
“Hey, I’d like to talk about our finances. Can we set aside time later this week to chat?”
Starting a money conversation on the fly can lead to defensiveness or stress. Give your partner notice that you want to talk about finances. This allows both of you time to prepare, gather your thoughts, and engage in the conversation with a clear mind.
Advance notice also helps avoid surprises and gives both parties the space to approach the conversation without feeling rushed.
2. Approach the Conversation with Curiosity
“I’m curious—how do you feel about our financial situation right now?”
Instead of making assumptions or accusations, come to the table with an open mind. Approach the conversation with curiosity rather than judgment.
Use open-ended questions to invite dialogue, such as, “What do you feel good about financially?” or “What’s something you wish we could do differently with our money?” This fosters a collaborative atmosphere where both partners feel heard.
3. Share Your Financial Goals
“One of my goals for this year is to save more for a vacation. What’s one of your financial goals?”
It’s important to understand where each of you stands financially and what your shared goals are. Whether it’s saving for a home, paying off debt, or planning for a big purchase, setting clear financial goals together strengthens your partnership and provides a sense of direction. Discuss your aspirations and see where you can align your efforts.
4. Ask About Fears and Concerns
“What’s your biggest fear when it comes to money?”
Money fears can significantly impact how we handle finances. One partner may fear running out of money, while the other may fear losing financial control. Open up a discussion about these fears, and don’t be afraid to share your own. Understanding each other’s fears can help you address them together and develop a plan that makes both partners feel secure.
5. Be Open to Reassessing and Adjusting Plans
“How can we better align our financial plans to make sure we’re both comfortable with our choices?”
Your financial plans may change over time, and it’s important to be flexible. Reassessing your finances together regularly helps ensure you’re still working toward the same goals. Ask your partner if they’re feeling stressed or satisfied with your current plan. A willingness to adjust based on both of your needs helps keep your financial partnership strong and evolving.
👨❤️👨 Conclusion
Money doesn’t have to be a taboo subject in relationships. Start small, stay curious, and remember that open communication is the key to navigating finances together!
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🎬 My Recent Video
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Note - Some of the links in this newsletter are affiliate links and I will earn a commission, however, it comes at no additional cost to you and helps support me as a creator.